Wednesday, November 26, 2008

with my eyes on the prize and my mind on you

sweet jesus, it's finally thanksgiving break. the past couple of weeks have been a bit rough and break is not going to be a week of slacking but at least it will be nice to loosen the belt a little bit (though hopefully not literally necessary post-thanksgiving). i'm super excited to be in cincinnati for the actual holiday and the next day and a few hours. i wonder if there is a thanksgiving day parade like there is in atlanta?

i'm rediscovering just how much i appreciate the "post war" album by m. ward. i have a few favorite songs in it and in the context of the album as a whole i like them even more. it has a few relaxed feel and subsequent relaxing properties. thanks, m. ward.

my hair is finally long enough to put behind my ears and i'm even dreaming of having my wash and wear hippie hair back again. cutting my hair was done as a statement and i like it short- there's just something enticing about having my long beautiful hair back. we'll see.

after my viola professor had a meeting and went grocery shopping, my lesson commenced today just about an hour behind schedule (and no big deal...askjdhasldhkash). as nit-picky as it was, it was fairly inspiring and we even entertained the thought of me giving a recital in the spring. it wouldn't be a bad idea as i'll already have things worked up from summer program recordings/auditions. maybe just before spring break? i'm starting to realize that my professor can be a brilliant teacher when you want her to be. the time it took to figure how to get what i needed in my lessons was quite frustrating but now that i know what questions to ask i'm learning a lot and very quickly. really, we're changing the way i approach practicing and being very VERY empirical about it. practice just this one shift, play that phrase on open strings, imagine the phrase in your head before you play - did it sound like you had imagined? why not? can you feel the weight and energy coming from your arm and into the bow? okay, now play. things are becoming very heady and that makes me very happy.

happy (belated) birthday shout-out to my "bestie" lauren. the consequent party was quite lively and very fun. i bonded with my favorite vegan over shamu wine and our shared love of the chilled out life. "no no, sacrilege is like anyone but jim morrison trying to play 'the end'." he's a riot, that one. i unfortunately awoke this morning to be smacked in the face with my actions from last night. i definitely should have gone home instead of sweet talking my way into girlfriend's apartment. not that anything went down, it just should have been respective space time and i violated it. reason not to drink so much cheap wine number 1103.

time for practice. i finally rescued my quartz crystal from my apartment so hopefully this practice will see insight and clarity. if it's productive, i'll get to make a pie tonight!

happy turkey day, all.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

exercizo en extended metaphor

there are still patches of land still singed from the slashing and burning. what seems like a raped and abandoned field is really an expanse of land ripe for opportunity. it is ready to be sown again, the last crop readily fading from memory. one small seed pod landed in the far corner of the land at the beginning of the season and others covered the ground only weeks later. as they began to take root, the soil enriched and the drought even seemed to subside. as days passed, seedings began to emerge and in the blink of an eye the plants began to come into their own. the pages fell off the calendar of october, november, and suddenly the onset of winter brought a great change. the farmers began to pull up some of the plants and the land cried out at the loss. the soil began to quickly dry out and the roots started showing in the remaining plants. the farmers took notice and began to spray the lands with water. some of the plants strengthened and more were planted. perhaps, the lands will prosper again.

winter is a powerful force. the cold desolation can bring the strongest to their knees. what once was so sure can be called into question with the coming of the howling winds and the softly falling snow. fall softly snow, remind me of the warm autumn glow and prepare me for what lies ahead. i am ready, but i cannot do it on my own.

check it outtttttt - school newspaper mention!

More than 150 attend Proposition 8 protest

November 15, 2008 by Jill Laster

Barbara Cox said she was thrilled to have her union with her partner recognized by California after being together 18 years.

When a California state ballot proposition amending the state Constitution to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman was passed, however, she felt robbed.

“To wake up Wednesday morning (Nov. 5) and find out our marriage was no longer valid was devastating,” said Cox, a San Diego resident visiting family in Lexington.

Cox was one of more than 150 people to participate in a protest in front of the Lexington-Fayette Urban County Government Center Saturday. On Saturday, protestors held signs and chanted in opposition to Proposition 8. Proposition 8, approved by voters Nov. 4, overrode a May decision by the California Supreme Court recognizing the legality of same-sex marriage.

The protest in Lexington, along with those across the country, made Cox feel that someday her union will be recognized, she said.

“The change is going to take a long time, but this kind of stuff feels wonderful,” Cox said. “We felt so much loss, but to see so much support against discrimination gives me hope again.”

Chris Stapel, a UK graduate student who helped organize the Lexington event, said Saturday’s protest was a grassroots effort that gained support through social networking Web sites such as Facebook.

Holding a sign and cheering when drivers of passing cars honked their horns, Stapel said Proposition 8 motivated people across the country to stand up for the rights of gay people.

“It’s pretty exciting,” Stapel said. “It’s just a testament to people all over Lexington.”

Members of UK’s Gay-Straight Alliance, as well as members of EKU’s and Transylvania’s student pride organizations, participated in Saturday’s protest. Sarah Caragianis, president of the UK GSA, said being straight did not stop her from joining in.

“We’re all equal, and I think it’s just as important for everyone to see and understand and fight against injustice,” she said. “The civil rights movement wasn’t just black people. We’re all in this together.”

After about 45 minutes in front of the Lexington-Fayette Urban County Government Center, protestors walked down the street to Phoenix Park, in front of the Lexington Public Library downtown. In Phoenix Park, several people stood up to address the crowd.

Melissa Gross, an arts administration and viola performance sophomore, encouraged those listening to her speak to put pressure on the government to recognize the right of all citizens to marry.

“Let us stand up for what we believe in, for what we know is ours,” Gross said. “Love cannot be bound to statues and limited by government regulations. We are united for a common purpose. We are united for marriage equality. We are united for love.”


http://kykernel.com/2008/11/15/more-than-150-attend-proposition-8-protest/#more-8204

Saturday, November 15, 2008

we will overcome

when i started this blog entry a few days ago, my only relationship with proposition 8 was that i am a lesbian american who could chalk up the passing of the bill as yet another right lost for not fitting into the heteronormative society that some people try so hard to legislate into existence. now, only a few days later, i am writing emails to lexington officals asking for them to come out to a nationwide protest who's lexington event i am helping organize. in response to an "i can help" email i sent i have been asked to make posters, help publicize, lead chants and potentially even speak. my life is nuts.

i will now use this post i was writing as the platform of my potential speech as it is better to be prepared, thank you [mormon] boy scouts.


Melissa Gross
Protest Against the Passing of Proposition 8
Lexington, KY
2:15 (ish) pm


United for Love

As a young girl I spent more time practicing to become a stunt double than dreaming about my wedding. That's not to say it didn't cross my mind a time or twelve and I know plenty of men and women who have dedicated countless daydreams to that special day. On November 4th this year, three states in this great country of ours voted to take those dreams away from the GLBTQ community. People are gathered on the steps of city halls across the nation today to to tell America that we want our dreams back.

Equal rights are civil rights and we cannot sit by while the government tries to marginalize them. Californians, Arizonans, and Floridians lost the equal right to marry this year. Citizens of Arkansas may now only adopt children if they are in a legally recognized marriage. Men and women in domestic partnerships and civil unions are still denied the 1,138 afforded to men and women in federally recognized marriages. Some of these rights being denied are survivor benefits, hospital visitation, tax exemptions, and domestic violence intervention. You and I both know that this is not acceptable. Seeing our rights in shambles like this, we know that things need to change.

This year the outcome of the presidential election signaled a change in the tide of American politics though, that day, the tide washed over GLBTQ Americans and left us in the wake of approved constitutional amendments and pieces of legislature in 4 different states. It is in protest of proposition 8, the amendment passed in California restricting marriage to one man and one woman that has us here today. The passing of proposition 8 came as a surprise and it's narrow victory makes the loss hurt that much worse. People have become quick to assign blame to make the hurt easier but we must succumb to such pettiness. It is no more the fault of a single religious institution than it is mine for not being more active in the fight when it counted the most. Through grassroots efforts and personal political responsibility we can respond to these set back s in a way that will have our voices heard.

We must not lose hope. The passing of Proposition 8 has mobilized more activists than the Yes on 8 campaign could have ever imagined. We have seen a terrible thing pass through ballot boxes and into law and we know now how important our own political involvement can be. I watched my political efficacy get results when the man I voted for this year accepted the American presidency. I only wish I had been able to cast my vote against proposition 8. People have turned out in great numbers since the votes were tallied in protests across the united states and today we are uniting ourselves in protest to tell the people that equality is an American value - that the right to a loving marriage cannot be limited by sex and that, as the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. once said “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Hope for our future will take office this January but more importantly it lies in each and everyone of us. We are the UNITED States of America. We can bring the change that people are trying so hard to prevent if we believe in ourselves and the power of dissent.

Roger Baldwin, the founder of the ACLU, once said that “Silence never won rights. They are not handed down from above; they are forced by pressures from below.” Let us lift our voices and cause that pressure. When 18,000 couples have to question the validity of their marriages in California we must speak out. When our brothers and sisters in Arkansas are banned from adopting children because they are not in legally recognized marriages we must cry out. When a man or a woman cannot visit his or her partner in the hospital, when we're still fighting a battle for acceptance that we've been fighting for the past 100 years, when love is no longer enough to join in the bonds of marriage – WE MUST FIGHT ON.

For, We ARE the People of the United States, and in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, we DID ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Equality is an American value. It is an inalienable right. Let us stand up for what we believe in, for what we know is ours. Love cannot be bound to statues and limited by government regulations. We are united for a common purpose. We are united for marriage equality. We are united for love.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

life outside the box

as always, sitting here writing this post i am no longer the person i was yesterday. i am changed, this time for the better, and by the strangest thing. i attended a new music concert last night to give moral support to friends" subjected" to playing one of its' pieces, to fulfill recital attendance requirements, and to have more writing material (the true reason why i do anything in life?). however, i accomplished all these things and more. my mind started spinning after the first electronic music and visual display. it was called the chase. its' cacophony of rhythms and textures spellbound me. me, who detests new music? i almost had to laugh of the irony of it all. once my mind stopped spinning it just ran off with thoughts like how i need to be more marketable in a changing musical era or how i should try to bring a more perfect synthesis of visual art and music performance to the world's ears. the ideas entertained ranged from highly possible to completely absurd. though really, what was accomplished last night was the realization that i am living inside of a box. i have a neat little life where i study, practice, and bake cookies with my girlfriend. i am not taking risks. i am not putting myself out there. and more importantly, i am doing nothing for society at large. i am existing and using precious air - feeding my mind with knowledge when i need to start thinking about feeding yours.

at the dawn of this new socio-political era there are many more concerns to address than self-betterment and stasis. we need to focus on protecting the environment, helping the people, salvaging the economy and more. or maybe we really just need to focus. i thought i had a focus but i am realizing it's not dynamic enough. i need for my art to transcend my space and infiltrate yours. as artists we need to see and be seen, to bring about change by changing ourselves. there is more to life than formulaic degree tracks and practice routines.

consider this my annunciation for a beautiful sunrise, a charge for greatness, for change for the better, for a more brilliant tomorrow, and a epic today.

for how can i reach you when i can only see myself? let's bring down the walls and paint the rubble with a story. let's fill their hearts with song and their bodies with movement.

to freedom
to efficacy
to bravery
to artistry
to raw passion
to a new and better art

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

cancelled class and historic elections

yesterday i freaked out because i didn't plan my day well enough to have time to see the film required for class. today class was canceled. my professor canceled class on friday too. i hope he's okay. at any rate, this allows me to have a few minutes to decompress before practicing and studying for my art history quiz tonight.

i will need more than a few minutes to decompress before and after practicing. try hours? i'm wading back into the depths of another viola crisis. at least it's a familiar bog. the monsters know me here, though are probably quite sick of my whining. they can join the club. how many times have i held my viola and wondered why? music is such a huge part of my life that to make any final decision about playing would absolutely tear apart my identity. so i am afraid. there we go.

i've been oddly emotional lately and i can't put my finger on a reason. i spent a considerable amount of time crying yesterday for seemingly no reason at all. maybe i was stressed about viola? election day? baking cookies? who knows....i don't.. and that concerns me. and perhaps what is worse is that i am worried about how it's making my significant other feel. i just want it to be my problem.

but really people

BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT ELECT
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

sad news, proposition 8 succeeded. and michael crichton died. sadness. and arkansas passed some weird bill on keeping unmarried people(read: gays) from adopting kids. because love makes one unfit for parenthood....right.



but to keep things in perspective-

President Obama. fuck yes.

Monday, November 3, 2008

triple word score

sitting in the library once again searching for a movie's plot summary to make up for not having done work this weekend. why do i procrastinate like i do?

OH

BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE OBAMA SPEAK LAST NIGHT (instead of doing work)

my professor should understand. after all, he cancelled class on me last friday. ha!

film essay found, i would like to take a moment to wax patriotic. not since i sat at my fisher-price play table at the age of two and waved around a small american flag shouting "happy birthday, america" to the amusement of my parents have i felt any sort of ownership or pride for my country. i have lived through two terms of the bush regime, two beautiful terms of the clinton administration and most of one term of bush 41. i appreciated the clinton administration. i defended him as a fourth-grader during his sex scandal and intended to vote for his wife this coming election, but i have never gazed into the stars and stripes and felt genuinely proud to be an american. i did last night. yesterday's road-trip to cincinnati was concluded with a surprising bang when we got to see barack obama speak at the university of cincinnati football stadium. our attendance was a last minute arrangement that led us to stand in a line for over two hours and then make it through security to stand around on a football field for a few more hours. we were surrounded by people of all walks of life - including an adorable older man who gave his obama sign to me while my girlfriend held the camera so i "would have something to do". people filled a large portion of the stadium. shades of blue washed the crowd (that often broke out into a wave). some fans even brought giant foamboard letters that spelled "ohio 4 obama" (and occasionally "oh io 4o bama" :). after a few false alarms, the man himself appeared in front of the podium and the crowds went wild. i know i did. even if his face was bigger on the televised debates, he was only a stone's throw away from me. unreal. his speech was the best i've heard yet. though some of it seemed a little bit dreamy (obama: pro-hope, also pro-dreams) i could pump my fists in the air and cheer in agreement to most everything that left his lips. towards the end, he picked up a momentum that had me hanging on his every word. when he talked about hope, per usual, he spoke about people having hope for their future generations even when they don't have hope for themselves. and though slightly unexpectedly, he had me. i almost started crying as he wrapped up his speech in a glorious finish. i hugged my girlfriend tightly as we watched a candidate that does provide the most hope i've ever seen in a politician. you already had my vote, barack, but now you might just have my heart.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

all the while the good lord smiles and looks the other way

it's five o'clock in lexington, kentucky.

i'm an ADD mess and trying to read a chapter out of my public speaking book. that is why it's five o'clock - other than actually being five o'clock.

tonight's road trip was postponed due to too much fun last night. as halloween is the ultimate college holiday, it makes sense that productivity would be marginalized the following day. i must say, i'm still surprised at the lack of halloween chutzpah here. halloween at IU lasts a whole week! at any rate, the parties were great. starting first with a just-the-two-of-us dinner/halloween party, then to party A, B, and C before calling it a morning around 3a.m. party A started out with eating and drinking while the host we were interested in was preoccupied with applying make-up to one of our friends. eventually, they finished and there was hookah smoking (where i was hit on by awkward chick) and socializing. then when we had our fill of type A merryment we rolled out to party B. party B was awesome! lots of sex on the beach and good company to be had. i love costume parties with intelligent people. no vampires, but iPod commericals, opera characters, Borat, and a StarTrekkie. good times were had by all, even by Sarah Palin. you betcha. party C was the last stop of the night and played host to good conversations and quality people watching opportunities. i left after almost falling asleep and walked back home with a friend. being janet reno for halloween was all kinds of fun. strange that people managed to find me atractive in that terrible liz claiborne dress and oversized glasses, maybe it was the alcohol.

tomorrow will see an early-morning road-trip to 'nati to have bows rehaired and to do lunch/dinner with my dear then TO SEE OBAMA! apparently, on this last weekend before the biggest election in the history of ever, obama decided to speak at the university of cincinnati on the same weekend my people decided to be there. AMAZING. we'll get back in town super late sunday night which manadates a high(er) level of productivity today. but WE GET TO SEE OBAMA. WIN.