can you spare a moment for zen?

my friends, fall is in the air. it intoxicates us with the kaleidoscope of colors that drip from the trees and teases us cool breeze that blows at our backs. also, for some reason, there is an overwhelming feeling of stress.

everywhere

so can you spare a moment for zen? take sixty seconds to focus on one thing or nothing at all? let your mind unravel into the fall landscape? it has been said that a landscape is a state of mind, you know. or maybe just stop- and breathe.

i can feel the tension in my chest and i can see the worry in my friends' eyes. i wish we could pause and jump in the nearest pile of leaves. watch them soar upon impact and send our worries with them.

so why not? i will.

it's fall, my friends. can you spare a moment for zen?

But with me and you it just started quietly and grew And believe it or not Now there's something groovy and good 'bout whatever we got

opera is over - a bittersweet sentiment. as much as i liked my time being consumed by three hour rehearsals every weekend, i'm going to miss hearing the beautiful strains of music constantly floating through my head.

or libretto- Chi e la? Amici! (i think "chi e la" is in every italian libretto...ever)

the parental visit started out fine then crashed and burned. the farmer's market was fine but kroger afterwards turned into a disaster. i asked to be able to spend a bit more with them there and they said yes, the thirty dollars over later the gig is up and they'll be taking it out of the next two weeks of grocery money. lunch was fine though a usual level of awkward with, retrospectively, my father not really talking to/looking at me. maybe i shouldn't have looked so gay? dinner with the friends went well. my parents were shockingly charming. i was afraid it was going to be a bond over cincinnati talk with the cincinnati native i share my heart with, but upon leah's arrival it became "let's talk about food texture" and lastest most of dinner. after the opera they forgot to pick us up and left. in the morning they took me to breakfast almost exclusively to chide me for having "overnight guests".

"we told you not to have overnight guests. you don't have to do a lot to have us pay for college. you said you wouldn't and you did..."blah blah blah. as they were so excited to have robert (gay ex-boyfriend) come stay with me, i'm feeling this policy exclusively refers to women that i am seeing. should i just move in somewhere else then? i kind of already did... :)

cat sitting and housing watching for the fore mentioned saldy person until she returns from the impromptu inter-state flight of the week. tonight will be the first time i've slept by myself in about a month. wow. it was weird to have my blissful life be interrupted so violently by this weekend. i was filled with familiar feelings of resentment, anger and helplessness. the best part of it was free food and a shoulder to cry on. i guess it was good for perspective's sake because now i can more fully appreciate how "groovy and good" what we have is. there are occasionally words on my tongue that i'm not ready for. knee-jerk reaction or authenticity?

exam i'm not ready for at one. hereeeeeeeee we go.

joan's "girls say yes to boys who say no" for the modern woman

"overdone sexual politics" says slate.com. maybe. i think it's just fun. in fact, i would change my profile picture to this if i didn't already mislead the poor male species enough. i feel like my persona screams "on the other team" but people still get confused. should i wear a rainbow flag cape to combat this misunderstanding? or maybe just become a bit more aware of the impact of my forwardness. "hey, let's go get lunch" or "hey, can i have your number? we can hit up shows!" my obliviousness usually hits full capacity when i'm on the receiving end.

for example: this summer while at work-
boy: "hey, i'm playing a show. you should totally come check it out."
me: "dude i love shows! totally! when is it?"
boy: "this weekend. can i, uh, get your number?"
me: "sure, man. give me a call sometime."

oy.

i leave shortly afterwards and then realize that i have just been hit on by mr. suave. it's a good thing that's not something i need to be aware of anymore or i would be single for a loooooong time.

real-time update: this time, mixed signals combated by -
me: "yeah here's the comp ticket i got for you. i hit them up for another ticket while i was there so no problem."
boy: "for what?"
me: "lpo. my girlfriend's in it."

ha-ta-cha. and done.


with my first informational speech and accounting exam 3 under my belt i can begin to ease into a weekend of relaxation...right? no, more exams to study for, more speeches to start thinking about, practicing to be done, operas to play, and parents to entertain...what? parents to entertain? when were they in my life? i'm really on edge about them coming here. it's as if i have constructed this life for myself here that really doesn't have a niche for them and now that world is being stressed by the advent of their presence. they're not bad people; they just cause tension. i told my dad about my plans for dinner with them and my friends and he immediately says, as if it were an unreasonable proposition, "whoa whoa wait. you're not even going to ask us?" my mom had been informed but failed to relay the message. the thing i'm most concerned about, i guess, is them going off on some "why we don't want you to date women" rant. during our conversation last night they asked if i wanted them to bring up my comforter and i said i got mine from school back because my ex, alize, came down to visit. all they could manage was an "oh" and then an abrupt transition into the next topic. last face-to-face encounter's "we don't want you to...do that anymore" was more than necessary. i've had enough - really.

until then, and maybe on through it: "onwards and upwards" i always say! i'm excited to go to (and accordingly dress up for) the lpo concert tonight. it will be nice to attend a concert that i don't already expect to sound like a chromatic atom bomb.

until my next entry of sensationalized musings and grammatical bastardization-
adieu.

but try as i might, sometimes you just take my breath away

oh lovely day, how you please me so. today started out freezing and miserable. then, a "A" informative speech and a lunch with my special lady later, things are looking up. i have one more class (and that extra credit quiz) to tackle before more studying and housing cleaning but i will carry on with the anticipation of that knock on my door that will so wonderfully cap off my evening.

mmmmm...happiness.

i received a text from a friend about a shooting at western kentucky today. thankfully, it was only a confirmed report of shots with no injuries but it is definitely a little scary when it hits that close to home. i hope they catch the individual soon.

nothing much to say right now other than it's almost the weekend which is nice. i have an accounting exam friday that makes me nervous. i must say, being clad in my suit for my speech today, i found accounting a bit more engaging. perhaps i'll break out a suit jacket for all following exams...

we viewed the marcel duchamp film "anemic cinema" in my film class today. it is the epitome of a dadaist film. should i conceal the fact that i loved it?


peace and love, kids

still i am learning

my practice session today was thwarted by the sounds of timpani and a booming bass drum. as much as i love percussion, i cannot focus with the tribal sounds of jazz musicians leaking through my door. i decided to fold in the name of sanity and to get some work done -but now i am blogging? really i am just waiting for my significant other to roll out of orchestra rehearsal so we can finish dinner and snuggle. yes, i admit - i am a softy and a procrastinator.

so much to do! caffeination has taken its nightly toll on me and my focus is about as good as something that is really tired and cannot focus well. today was spent hopping to and fro class, failing the hell out of an accounting exam, listen to more bad-to-worse speeches, skipping class to apply for a job and a subsequent lunch with friends, having an okay lessson, more class, finding out that i have well over a 100 average in my art history class, and eating a lovely dinner with a lovely person. if only my night could be so...average?

art history today was split between an english landscape painter and goya. we got through the court paintings and one other significant work of goya before our professor called it a night. disappointing! i want to see the raw, crazy goya. more motivation to go to class on wednesday, i suppose. as if an entirely extra-credit quiz weren't enough.

i have an hour and a half before my night winds down blissfully so i need to work on my speech. and away we go!

blog blog blog: a little libretto for your masterwork of daily life

there comes a time when one must bid farewell to the internet relics of yesteryear (i.e. livejournal) and create an identity for herself in unconquered territory. hello, blogspot. nice to meet you.

i sit just outside of my french film class that i ditched wednesday for some coffee and pleasant company. i can safely assume that as i make my way back into the front row my professor will give me the "why do you sit in the front row but skip class at least once a week?" look. i will respond with a glance that says "i am dedicated but flakey. i play the viola. what do you want?" it makes very little sense to miss this class as i love french film. in conclusion, i do not understand my own behavior. maybe i should enroll in a behavioral psychology class instead of more art history next semester....

ever a slave to stream-of-conciousness...and how! i stumbled upon my new favorite website in the research process for my latest and greatest public speaking presentation. (web gallery of art: check that shit out. it has lists upon lists of artists from medieval to romantic periods. i, for one, have a passionate, though ironic, love for the high renaissance. alas, i have found another great way to squander my time on the interwebs.) as a born-again art enthusiast, i chose to give my first informative speech on common misconceptions and lesser-known facts on michelangelo. michelangelo: wasn't really a painter!
michelangelo: wrote sonnets about homosexual love!
michelangelo: was a baller.
alas, the last fact is well known. my speech day is this coming wednesday so i have a considerable amount of time to hash over word order and phrase craftsmanship. hopefully i can out do the "this is how an engine works" "or why i like sports marketing" or, better yet, "things you did not know about the song 'let it be'" speeches from today. "let it be" - written by the beatles?!?! you don't say! basic public speaking fills me with joy.

our production of la boheme opens tonight and i am enlisting the help of the opera gods to ensure its' success. now that there are monitors in the pit, one can rest [relatively] assured that the orchestra and singers will be together. if only there were similar methods of assuring the orchestra would be together with itself. the best moment of rehearsal last night was definitely when our conductor earnestly requested the winds play one particular chord in tune. perfect.

now that i have pumped you, the reader, full of music ramblings i will part on this quotation from the ever dependable university of kentucky newspaper; " [La Boheme] is a shorter opera based on the musical 'RENT'...this is not like your average opera."

until we meet again, friends-